Supporting children at home
Petra Becker, M.A. in Islamic Sciences, Political Sciences and Sociology, founder and CEO of "Back on Track e.V.”
Mariam Zugbhi, English teacher and team coordinator of “Back on Track e.V.”
Prof. Dr. Miriam Stock, Department of Cultural Studies, University of Education Schwäbisch Gmünd
This module was developed during the corona pandemic. Many families had to stay at home due to lockdowns and beyond. This brought new challenges but also opportunities for parenting. So this module wants to give some tips how to be supportive parents in times of crisis. It gathers 11 tipps for newly migrated families and beyond in the following subjects:
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How to deal with stress, anger and anxieties in the family.
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How to support children in learning at home.
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How to spend creative time together.
How to deal with anxieties and insomnia
Many of us suffer from anxiety and insomnia - due to everyday stress, homesickness or traumas we have experienced. At the same time, we may observe in our children that they also have trouble sleeping and concentrating, which has a negative impact on their school performance. Now corona is added to the mix, causing us even more stress! So that this does not become the straw that breaks the camel's back, let's take good care of ourselves and our loved ones!
We have found a link for you with picture books on topics such as insomnia or concentration problems, which contain many tips on how to overcome them. They are only available online, but in several languages, including Arabic.
For more information on trauma and coping visit our module “stress, adaption, coping& growth”
https://www.parent-able.com/stress-adaptation-coping-growth
Working at home and caring for family – some psychological tips
Working at home and taking care of your kids' chores at the same time is a bit much!
It is important that you don't let your children's tasks and all other demands stress you out!
We are in an exceptional situation. The most important thing now is our physical, psychological and mental health! We found some good tips at the "Brave Voices, brave Choices" that apply well to our situation.
https://www.facebook.com/ChooseCivility/photos/working-remote-covid-19-principles/10157295227451270/
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You are not „Working from Home“, you are „At your home, during a crisis trying to work.“
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Your personal physical, mental, and emotional health is far more important than anything else right now.
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You should not try to compensate for lost productivity by working long hours.
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You will be kind to yourself and not judge how you are coping based on how you see others coping.
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You will be kind to others and not judge how they are based on how you are coping.
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Your team success will be not measured the same way it was when things were normal.
This applies to all our work – the tasks assigned to us, such as a job or studies, and looking after the children and the house. Do not strain yourself or those around you.
A helpful story: How to help children deal with anger and anxieties
How can we help our children deal with their fears and anger about the current situation?
We have a story for you that helps children do just that. It is translated into many languages, including Arabic. The story should be read by an adult and not by the children alone. Only then, it will be effective.
Here you can find the link to all versions, including the Arabic version:
Enjoy it!
Protect your children?
Are we doing our children a favor by keeping all difficulties away from them?
To anticipate the answer: No, definitely not! Excessive care can result in children growing into insecure personalities who feel overwhelmed by even the smallest problems.
All parents want to protect their children; that is natural and healthy. However, it's not healthy for us to put all of our children's problems out of their way. We can encourage them to talk about their difficulties and we can think about solutions together. But it's not helpful if we put ourselves in front of them like Superman or Superwoman.
We humans need problems so that we can practice and grow from them. If we want to become strong, we need to learn to endure pressure. Not everything that feels good is actually good for me. Someone who criticizes me is not therefore evil. He or she can criticize me rightly or wrongly, in any case it offers me the opportunity to think about myself.
With every problem that I have solved myself, I grow and become more self-confident.
Anger and non-violent parenting
It is very important to talk about non-violent parenting: Just like adults, children get angry sometimes. Especially in the present situation, when they can't get out. But unlike adults, they can't interpret or control their feelings. So how do we deal with their anger?
First, we should realize that when a child gets angry, it is usually because of one of three reasons:
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A need (material or emotional) has not been met.
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A promise made by the parent has not been kept, or
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The child has been compared to and belittled by others in the family or circle of acquaintances.
How can we help the child to calm down again?
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We encourage him to find words for why she/he is angry and to express how she/he sees the situation. We bear with the child's feelings, do not suppress them and do not intimidate them. This way we stay in touch and can understand what the child needs.
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We do not get angry ourselves, but remain calm. Calmness is just as contagious as anger.
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We do not fulfill her/his wishes as long as she/he cries. Otherwise, the child learns that all she/he needs to do to get something is to scream.
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We do not ignore the child, but signal to her/him that we will wait until he calms down and we can discuss the problem together.
Learning languages
Many migrant families are not sure how to deal with multiple languages. Many teachers and educators are also unfamiliar with this topic and are unable to advise families adequately.
The first question is: How can I support my child to learn the new language well?
And the second question is: How can I support my child so that he does not forget his native language?
Here you will find a brief summary of important information that you can also pass on to other parents or teachers and educators:
https://bivem.leibniz-zas.de/en/service-transfer/flyer-series/
The flyers are available in six languages.
You will also find the digital children's magazine "Tayyaret Waraq“ (in Arabic). Have a look!
For more on languages and multilingualism visit our module here:
https://www.parent-able.com/multilingualism
Children and mobiles/computers
Many of us are unsure how long we should actually let children play on the computer or with the cell phone.
Some have agreed rules with their children, and this is also very important, because the cognitive development of children needs – in addition to love and attention – above all interaction, the use of all our five senses and sufficient physical exercise. In times of Corona, these rules are hard to follow. Sometimes we just have to turn on the TV or let the child play so we can catch our own breath.
However: However, excessive media consumption increases tension even more. So if we let the reins slip, it can easily happen that we end up with even more stress. Therefore, make sure you provide variety and fresh air! Go outside and get the children moving - even if the sun isn't shining!
The best way to get children away from the computer is to offer them a shared activity, so that periods of media consumption can alternate with other activities.
Studying and motivation at home
"What can I do to motivate my children to learn?"
Here's what you can do:
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Plan together with the child when to learn. Involve the child in the decision and trust him or her to make it.
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Set a goal together with the child: What content should be learned today?
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Reward the child for achieving a goal.
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Express appreciation for the child's efforts.
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Express interest in the child's tasks, but do not strictly monitor the child. Strict supervision makes the child nervous and has a negative effect on learning ability.
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Do not sit next to the child while learning. Encourage the child to work independently and help only when the child asks for help.
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Never express disappointment when the child has not achieved his or her goal, but consider together what the reason might be. Try them all out and feel free to write us what other ideas you have and what works for you!
Make your own movies at home
We can't just ask grandma and grandpa to watch the kids for a while so we can take a breath. Most grandparents are far away in other countries anyway - and if we have our parents here, we have to be afraid of infecting them. How about making a TV out of an old cardboard box ? The kids can announce the family news on TV, you can film them doing it and send the video to grandma and grandpa. Then they will be happy and you will all have fun together.
https://www.pinterest.de/pin/141863456989123263/
Have you ever made a stop motion movie? It's very easy:
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You think about a story with different scenes.
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You look for puppets or objects that should appear in your film and place them for the first scene.
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Take a photo of the scene.
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You move the objects very slightly.
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You take a picture of this new scene.
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Then you repeat steps 4 and 5 until the last picture is ready.
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You load the pictures on a computer and put them together to a movie.
Two tutorials will show you how to do this. One in English and one in Arabic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ppedXZHhE0
If you don't have a computer, you can easily make a flipbook instead. All you need is paper and a pencil, and there's a tutorial for that, too:
Singing and making music at home
You all know what good music does to us:
We turn on the radio or listen to a song on YouTube and immediately our mood brightens, our tension noticeably eases.
If you ever find yourself alone for an hour because your partner has gone out with the kids, why not put on some music that puts you in a good mood - or just enjoy the silence!
Children also have fun when we listen to music with them and maybe even dance to it. Or even sing ourselves, because singing is like medicine! You don't need an instrument to do it. We can also clap the rhythm or beat it with spoons.
A game we all love!
With this tip, we parents can take a little trip back in time and remember what we played when we were little ourselves!
It is one of the oldest children's games in the world and has hundreds of names. In Damascus it is called "Heese", in Berlin "Hopse". What is the name of this game in your country?
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